Subject: Re: 4th-Way Judgments
Date: Wed, 04 Dec 1996 16:12:38 +0000
So how can I get rid of my judgments. I have many which I do not like.
firstname.lastname@example.org wrote back:
Do not become identified with them. Once we have labeled them good or bad, right or wrong, or other such judgments, it has the power and we are merely it's pawn. This is not a small, or easy thing. This requires much time and effort.
I didn't see your original post,
so I may be responding to something that only appears to be what's going on ;)
It's interesting, don't you think, that you want to get rid of judgments because you've judged them unlikeable ;) So the suggestion you've been given is to stop judging judging. Makes sense. I guess if you can stop judging judging, you can certainly stop judging ;)
If you really want to get rid of them, you can do it. But I'd like to suggest an alternate method. Perhaps it is actually done by working at discovering for yourself that ``your'' judgment is an illusion -- that it's neither fair nor accurate nor true. Once you've found out for yourself that something is not true, for you, it's easy to drop. As long as you find some value in a thing, you'll have a hell of a time trying to get rid of it.
How often do you forget your coat? Your car keys? Your money? Your cigarettes (if you smoke)? These things are valued highly, and not often forgotten by most of us. How many ladies do you know who constantly forget their purses? Or briefcases or luggage?
What do you get out of trying to get rid of a judgment? Does it make you feel like you are improving as a human being? Does it let you think about and see yourself as someone who is gaining some virtue or other fine substance from the effort?
Then can you afford to get rid of the judgment? How would you get that feeling without something to struggle with to prove that you are a Worker?
Then again, none of these things may be true for you. If they are, though, you might have more invested in keeping the judgments around to struggle with than to actually get rid of them.
Human psychology is strange. We rarely get rid of anything. We can replace one habit of judging with another habit that we feel is superior. And then the old habit will still raise its little head occasionally and we'll have to remember to practice the new habit. It didn't really go away; but it is replaced the majority of the time with a new habit. That's actually the easiest way of dealing with habits that you don't want: just replace them with some habit that you do want by changing behavior every time the urge for the old habit comes up.
To really ``get rid of it'' one first sees: that what is actually lost is not the habit of judging, but rather the identification with the truth or accuracy of the judgment. If one sees that the judgment is false, it won't stop the suggestion from coming up that one make that judgment again. But, having seen the illusion of the judgment, the suggestion now just seems silly. One does not identify with it. Over time, the suggestion may just stop being made by the false self. Then one can say that one has ``gotten rid of it.'' But that's not really true. The suggestion to make that judgment may come from another outside of self. After all, there is constant suggestion from without that we judge, isn't there? But then that suggestion is seen for the illusion that it is. The judgment is not made. What has been ``gotten rid of'' is the belief in the validity of the judgment: one's suggestibility on that particular subject. In other words, I can no longer be hypnotized on that subject: from within or from without.
Don't work to get rid of the judging itself. It's your job to judge, so trying to stop judging would actually be quite harmful to you. You may have an allergy to certain types of dairy products. It's your job to notice that when you ingest some kinds of dairy products, you don't feel as well as when you don't eat them. That is a judgment. Given enough observation, you can decide that you won't eat those kinds of foods any more, or at least not very often. That is a judgment. But it's just for you. You would be foolish to go on a campaign to get the rest of us to judge the same way you have, because perhaps most of the rest of us don't have that response to dairy products.
When you start imposing your judgments on others, you look pretty foolish -- or you look like an authority (which is pretty silly ;).
If you observe self making judgments about or for others (which isn't your job), investigate. Question. Ask whether your judgment is realistic for them. Ask whether you even have enough information to really be able to make that judgment: or are you doing it with just a cursory, casual observation that is actually based on comparing them to standards that you think others should live up to -- after all, look at how hard you are trying to live up to your standards -- why shouldn't they?
See if you can observe for yourself that people always do the best that they can under the circumstances they're in with the understanding they have (which is usually pretty limited, isn't it?). If we look at our own behavior when it wasn't as good as we thought it should be, weren't we convinced for a time that it was the right thing to do? Didn't we use a pretty limited understanding to justify the behavior? After all, look what they did first -- to me. I'm justified in what I'm doing. They started it. Yet, later, the justification wears off, and a bit more understanding comes into the picture -- and I realize that I wasn't justified at all -- even for a moment. Then I get to play the guilt game, eh?
Maybe others are doing the same thing? Maybe my judgment of them is not as accurate as I thought it to be? Maybe my judgment is based on the idea that they are perfectly capable people, adults with the ability to respond of their own free will to this situation which is apparently difficult for them? How silly that basis for judgment looks when one has done just a little self-observation.
When one sees that a favorite judgment is based on illusory beliefs and standards that have no basis in fact, it just becomes silly: an illusion. One cannot act on what one believes to be false (that requires the trickery of justification -- telling myself a story that makes something that I believe to be wrong appear to be temporarily the right thing to do). So the suggestion may still be made to make that judgment. But, having seen for self that it is false, one cannot do it: one cannot even justify it. Eventually the temptation to buy the suggestion from habit falls away, and one has ``gotten rid of that judgment.''
But not by trying to stop the judging. It's accomplished by investigating and questioning the assumptions and attitudes and beliefs and ideals and standards that made the judgment seem reasonable to me when it is not actually true. When those assumptions and attitudes and beliefs and ideals and standards are seen as illusions, they can no longer be used as the basis for a judgment.
The false self always tells us to attack every problem from the point of view of cause and effect. Certain judgments are the cause of discomfort to me. Therefore the way to end this discomfort is to attack its cause: the judging. But this method of the personality (called problem-solving) will never work. It actually makes the judgment more real, more true, than it was when it was just an unconscious habit.
Most of the time the Work is to investigate and question the illusions that one lives by that interfere with peace of mind, until one sees that they are just illusions. Then they wither away from lack of use (belief -- what one lives by). And peace of mind is just what's left: one does not Work to get peace of mind. And in that peace of mind many things are possible for further Work that cannot be accomplished while one is continually disturbed by illusions.
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