Question: From: COSHG-user@onaustralia.com.au (Collective of self help groups)
Newsgroups: alt.consciousness.4th-way
Subject: Re: Expression of Negative Emotions
Date: Wed, 11 Dec 1996 03:25:23 PST

Collective of self help groups wrote:
     One thing we do know is that the
expression of negative emotions can be stopped. It is within our power to not express them. We know this because we do it when it suits us. We rarely express negativity toward our boss, mother-in-law (or better not! <G>), friends we want to keep as friends, etc.
     Are these examples of controlling the expression of negative emotions or just the swamping of one negative emotion (eg irritability) by another (such as fear or shame)?
-J

     There are a few ideas here that it would be worthwhile to see clearly to understand the purpose for not expressing negative emotions.
     To attempt a thing without understanding its purpose often leads to a misunderstanding of what one is even attempting. So that one without understanding may turn a useful experiment into the same old stuff that one has always done, and simply calls it something new.
     As you say, everyone already has the experience of controlling negative emotions, at least some of the time. Perhaps the idea of not expressing negative emotions has nothing to do with what we have already experienced, but is something new?
     So let's look at these ideas: expression, negative emotions, and control.
     Something is expressed when it is seen as true and valuable at this moment. One cannot act on something one does not believe to be true. Even when something is seen as true, it must still be valued to be expressed. True and valuable are not static: they change as often as the ``i'' changes. True is often a story made up specifically to justify something that is normally seen as false or of no value so that it appears true and valuable just long enough for it to be expressed. Nonetheless, to go from idea to action requires a perception of the idea/action as both true and valuable. One or the other is not enough: both are required to act; whether one consciously perceives what one is seeing as true and/or valuable or not.
     Negative emotions is a fancy word for fear. All the so-called negative emotions are fear-based. Thus anger and boredom are fear at a higher rate of vibration than apathy: but all are degrees of energy based on an idea we call fear. So the fear-based emotions are essentially anger, fear, guilt and insecurity/inferiority. There are many, many words for every possible degree and combination of these four basic fear-based emotions, since they make up almost the totality of the feeling experience in a sleeping consciousness. There are fewer words for feelings that are not based on fear. Some of the words that many of us do not recognize as fear-based are: nostalgia and sadness and grief; the feelings that arise along with a desire to help others or prevent others from sensations of being hurt which we call sympathy or compassion and other such pretty words, but which are not; the sensations of wanting to own that which is liked (or to our taste), which we call love when it is really a fearful expression of greed; and so on.
     The seeming difference between these emotions is what they are attempting to control, which brings with it a difference in vibration that corresponds to the desired action/outcome. Anger attempts to control all that which is seen as not me. Guilt attempts to control what is seen as me. Fear attempts to control what is seen as me in the face of what is seen as a more powerful and perhaps overwhelming force, whether that force is seen as me or not. Insecurity and inferiority are one consequence of trying to live by the violence of control for very long: whether one is attempting to control this self or others or circumstances.
     The higher vibrations of feeling are no longer based on controlling anything: not self; not one's environment; not others; not circumstances -- nothing. They are based on an entirely different perception of reality and a different method of interacting with one's environment that requires a different vibration of energy.
     The best way to deal with all this is through freedom, not through control (which is an attempt to take away someone's freedom). In other words, begin to function in a way that requires a different vibration of energy. Yet most of the freedom that we desire is the freedom FROM all the things that we say that we do not want. And the method most commonly used is the attempt to gain enough power to be able to control self and others and circumstances.
     Freedom comes from seeing the truth, though; from seeing things as they are without illusions. One idea that has simply not caught on can be expressed as: when I am free to experience this, I am also free not to do it myself; but when I am not free to experience this, I have no freedom at all on the subject.
     Thus the idea of not expressing fear-based emotions. In order to not express them, one must first be free to experience them to some limited degree: without seeing acting on them as true; or without seeing acting on them as valuable; or without seeing acting on them as true and valuable. Interrupting the automatic perception of the truth of acting on the emotion and/or the automatic perception of the value of acting on the emotion is enough to stop the expression for that moment. I doubt that there is a way to see the truth of the game of expressing fear-based emotions for one's self without being free to experience the game. In other words, as long as the methods of control are being used, I doubt that the game can be seen accurately and understood.
     One can come to this by first observing the game after-the-fact. Look at the whole game after it has been played out. What was its purpose? What was it supposed to accomplish? Did it accomplish that? Questioning the game a few, or possibly many, times can make it possible to see the game as not so true and/or not so valuable as one had previously believed.
     This makes possible observing while the emotion is present without acting on the emotion, because it occasionally interrupts the perception of acting on the emotion as true and/or valuable. The emotion may continue, but it does not get expressed because one has seen a truth for one's self: this fear-based emotion game is not worth playing.
     This is the freedom to experience that emotion. When one acts on the emotion, one is actually not free to experience it: the action is itself an attempt to change the situation into something more to one's taste. This makes it very difficult to see what is going on with enough honesty to come to the truth of the situation. And it is the truth that brings freedom: the freedom to and the freedom not to.
     One who observes emotion freely while it is present may come to a greater perception of the truth of the game. Perhaps one will see that it is all an attempt to control this self or other selves or circumstances by the ``supposedly judicious'' use of different forms of violence. Perhaps one will see that the willingness to leave energy vibrating on these levels precludes the use of energy at higher rates of vibration. Perhaps one will see the effects on the body of these energies. Perhaps one will see all the stories the various ``i''s tell to allow this game to continue. Perhaps one will see the constant why questions that generate the illusion that the game is worth playing. Perhaps one will see the constant blaming that is all that why questions really come to.
     Eventually one may come upon the perception of many truths about the way things are and work; and discover for oneself the freedom to play the game -- which also brings with it the freedom not to play the game. In fact, one may even see that as long as one is not free to play the emotional game, one will never experience the freedom to play any other games -- or even discover what other games there are to play.

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